Dear New Players in Division I Men’s Paddle,
I hope you have enjoyed your first couple of matches in the new season. Now that your feet are wet it is time for a couple of pointers on the league and the unwritten rules. The following should help you get along well with others and have fun playing paddle tennis in Men’s Division I paddle.
Rule #1 – Don’t take yourself or your game too seriously. You are playing in a paddle match with a bunch of over-thirty-year old men (even over-fifty year-old men if you’re at Glendale and even some women from time to time at Four Bridges and Beckett – but more on that later). I guarantee you that if you won every single point of every single match for an entire year that it would not make the Cincinnati Enquirer, let alone your sorry-ass local suburban community paper. Bottom line – don’t sweat the little things - enjoy playing some very good paddle against some very good people and relax. World affairs don’t rest on the outcome of a single match or a single season. Keep it low key and tone it down. That is Rule #1.
Rule #2 – Be cool. Part of the fun of the league here in Cincinnati is that 99% of the people you are going to meet and the people you are going to play against are good guys and girls. Be one of them -- not the 1% or less who are a pain-in-the-ass. Come out to play because you like good competition and good exercise. Trust me – the local High School Girls Volleyball game might make the evening news when it’s state playoff time – your paddle match will not. Remember that.
Rule #3 – See Rule #1 again – it’s important.
Also couple of other items:
1) We let women play in Division I. I know there are some of you who came up thru Division II and below and haven’t played against women because the powers that be have not allowed women to play in some of the lower level divisions. They have justified their exclusionary rule based on the argument that there are members who are scared to hit the ball at a woman and think their competitive spirit is disrupted somehow. Understand this – when you are playing mixed doubles in a social environment you need to be concerned about not hitting the female on the court or risk being labeled a jerk if you do. But the handful of women who play in Division I are much better than you will ever be. You need to worry about them kicking your ass and drilling you with the ball not the other way around. If women can play in PGA events, they can hold their own with us.
Further, if you lose you will get some ribbing from your teammates about losing to a girl. But trust me, the guy teasing you is subconsciously glad he didn’t have to face the chick that just kicked your ass. If playing against talented and sweaty babes isn’t your thing or somehow cramps your style, then please re-join the sorry Division II team that you came from and shut the f___ up. We were fine before you got here and we will be fine without you.
2) We let pros play in Division I. Yes – hired guns (aka - the guys who get paid to teach you or your wife how to play tennis) play in Division I. One team even has two pros that play regularly – deal with it. When I hear the occasional discussion about whether or not to have pros playing in the league I want to puke. The discussion is usually along the lines of “a pro depriving a member a spot in the line-up” Let me be clear on this, if you are playing in Division I then presumably you want to play against very good competition as much as possible. Let the other club decide who plays and who doesn’t - you don’t need to make that call for them and if they bring some professional talent to the match then appreciate it. These pros can play and we are lucky that they join us when they could be doing other things like getting a good night of sleep so they can bang your sex-deprived wife after her tennis lesson tomorrow. Trust me, they are good guys and add to the paddle environment - enjoy it.
In closing I mention these rules and traditions because for the last few years we let a small group of vocal dipshits whine about the traveling teams. This group decided that there is no place for traveling teams to play in a club-based league because they don’t contribute or support those clubs – never mind that the closest club to their house might not be that close or that the club fees might be too steep.
The women’s league and other divisions in the men’s league were laughing at us while this debate raged and they kept their traveling clubs in place under the status quo. They recognized that the traveling teams were great at bringing new players into the game and a nice opportunity for some people to play who didn’t belong to the local country club.
In any event, after badgering and then increasing dues on the traveling teams in Division 1 we forced them to join a tennis club this year. So when you find yourself playing at that tennis club which is substantially farther away from your house than the match would have been if you played the traveling team at your home courts, and then playing a staggered match schedule because they only have two courts, and then wondering why we forced this issue -- at that point you understand why we don’t want you screwing up the other stuff mentioned above.
For now just make sure that you don’t fall into the trap of making playing the sport more difficult or more exclusionary because that doesn’t help anyone and makes the rest of us look like arrogant and snobby jerks.
Having explained the rules and culture – welcome to the league and have fun.
For other veterans of the league, I'm sure I missed so key factors -- please add any other unwritten rules or traditions I left out
Signed,
Old School
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Rules And Traditions - Division 1
Started by
Guest *Coward_Old School D1_* *
, Nov 14 2007 09:32 PM
14 replies to this topic
#1 Guest *Coward_Old School D1_* *
Guest *Coward_Old School D1_* *
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Posted 14 November 2007 - 09:32 PM
#2 Guest *Coward_mooter_* *
Guest *Coward_mooter_* *
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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:20 PM
Hey Old School come on out to the Lyceum any Thursday night for some open paddle and to tip a few beers afterwards.
This offer is good for anyone wanting to get a little more play in during the week.
This offer is good for anyone wanting to get a little more play in during the week.
#3
theglove
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Post Master General
Posted 14 November 2007 - 11:12 PM
I agree with Old School - Women, pros and random travellers should all be welcome in the league. I even think good high school tennis players should be encouraged to play. Anything that adds quality, depth and variety to the league is good.
More Unwritten Rules:
No wearing sweater vests without undershirts. I saw this look last year in a men's D-II match last year. I couldn't eat for a week.
No whining about getting hit anywhere but the face. The legs, feet, hips and underarms are all legitimate targets. I'm especially fond of the one-hopper backside tag of a retreating net player. But -- up around the head two or three times and its time for the enforcer-goon to make his way onto the ice.
No pounding screens with paddles in anger. Dents in screens are difficult to fix and result in poor court conditions. I propose a penalty requiring the offending player to play the net for one game with no paddle.
No wearing khakis, button down shirts or silly stocking caps with fuzz balls unless the match is played at CCC or Camargo. In which case the aforementioned should always be worn.
No duct tape on paddles. Support the sport, get a new paddle at least once a decade.
No more rules aimed at limiting league participation. Any paddle player living near Cincinnati should be welcome in the league. In fact, now that there are no travel teams in the premiere league why don't we add a new one next year. Maybe it could be all women.
More Unwritten Rules:
No wearing sweater vests without undershirts. I saw this look last year in a men's D-II match last year. I couldn't eat for a week.
No whining about getting hit anywhere but the face. The legs, feet, hips and underarms are all legitimate targets. I'm especially fond of the one-hopper backside tag of a retreating net player. But -- up around the head two or three times and its time for the enforcer-goon to make his way onto the ice.
No pounding screens with paddles in anger. Dents in screens are difficult to fix and result in poor court conditions. I propose a penalty requiring the offending player to play the net for one game with no paddle.
No wearing khakis, button down shirts or silly stocking caps with fuzz balls unless the match is played at CCC or Camargo. In which case the aforementioned should always be worn.
No duct tape on paddles. Support the sport, get a new paddle at least once a decade.
No more rules aimed at limiting league participation. Any paddle player living near Cincinnati should be welcome in the league. In fact, now that there are no travel teams in the premiere league why don't we add a new one next year. Maybe it could be all women.
#4 Guest *E Toth *
Guest *E Toth *
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Posted 15 November 2007 - 01:04 AM
To Old School : Great insights. You are the new "Dali Lama" of paddle in Cincinnati
To The Glove : You have the most unique perspectives on the sport not only in the city, but probably the country. I think you need to relax though on the paddle bashings and hurls. Some of my fondest moments in my paddle career surround Leytze's classic tosses under nets and snowboards and his Carson Palmer-like heave into the woods; both at Camargo. I am hoping QC I gets Joe out again this year, not only to get him back out on the court again, but to maybe see another epic throw possibly into the Camargo lake. It would be new pro Bakker's first challenge on his new job : retrieve Joe's paddle. Kebe is also another one known for his classic paddle bashings. The rumor at Beckett is that Peter Herr just couldn't take it anymore and begged Jason Gray to persuade Mark to come Four Bridges way. He's taken his act to FB as he hurled one right into Josselyn's ankle during our match Tuesday night. It helped secure a victory for Schubert and I Tuesday night. You never know when I might unleash my Viking Zone or you might want to toss your whole bag of demo paddles you peddle around into the Markeley gazebo, so lighten up on the paddle tossing. It adds personality to the game. Did I see the new Harrow paddle in your demo bag last time we played ?
To The Glove : You have the most unique perspectives on the sport not only in the city, but probably the country. I think you need to relax though on the paddle bashings and hurls. Some of my fondest moments in my paddle career surround Leytze's classic tosses under nets and snowboards and his Carson Palmer-like heave into the woods; both at Camargo. I am hoping QC I gets Joe out again this year, not only to get him back out on the court again, but to maybe see another epic throw possibly into the Camargo lake. It would be new pro Bakker's first challenge on his new job : retrieve Joe's paddle. Kebe is also another one known for his classic paddle bashings. The rumor at Beckett is that Peter Herr just couldn't take it anymore and begged Jason Gray to persuade Mark to come Four Bridges way. He's taken his act to FB as he hurled one right into Josselyn's ankle during our match Tuesday night. It helped secure a victory for Schubert and I Tuesday night. You never know when I might unleash my Viking Zone or you might want to toss your whole bag of demo paddles you peddle around into the Markeley gazebo, so lighten up on the paddle tossing. It adds personality to the game. Did I see the new Harrow paddle in your demo bag last time we played ?
#5
theglove
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Posted 15 November 2007 - 01:10 PM
I'm all for tosses that clear the screens, as long as no birds, deer or other woodland creatures are harmed. --- And for the record: I carry 2 Blitz's with different size grips, 1 N-Blade, 1 Tsunami II, 1 Tsunami, 2 XLs with different amounts of lead tape, 2 Pro V1s, a new Oz, 5 right-hand gloves, one left glove and an assortment of wrist, knee and back braces -- but no Harrow paddles.
#6 Guest *Ames Gardner *
Guest *Ames Gardner *
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Posted 15 November 2007 - 11:36 PM
Jonesey,
I agree with your logic concerning league participation. I've come down from Springfield the last few years to play for the traveling team you have played on and had a great time doing so. As far as your suggestion goes concerning a new traveling team of women, I would be happy to captain it. I think the local Springfield Hooters could spring a few bucks to suit up our team and I'm sure the Hustler Hollywood I frequented after matches on Rt. 63 off 75 would find something for me to don. What are the dues requirements again for traveling teams in your league in Cincinnati ?
I agree with your logic concerning league participation. I've come down from Springfield the last few years to play for the traveling team you have played on and had a great time doing so. As far as your suggestion goes concerning a new traveling team of women, I would be happy to captain it. I think the local Springfield Hooters could spring a few bucks to suit up our team and I'm sure the Hustler Hollywood I frequented after matches on Rt. 63 off 75 would find something for me to don. What are the dues requirements again for traveling teams in your league in Cincinnati ?
#8
Rich Reilly
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Posts a whole lot
Posted 17 November 2007 - 02:39 PM
"Princeton could use a guy like Joel..."
"She had knowledge...and I was glad to get that knowledge..."
Ames --
Please consider this your official approval for recruiting the new traveling team...
You are the captain -- start the recruiting efforts asap...if you pull it together all fees are waived forever...
"She had knowledge...and I was glad to get that knowledge..."
Ames --
Please consider this your official approval for recruiting the new traveling team...
You are the captain -- start the recruiting efforts asap...if you pull it together all fees are waived forever...
#9 Guest *Hank B *
Guest *Hank B *
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Posted 17 November 2007 - 02:48 PM
Just for the record, does this mean Thaddeus is banging my wife???
#10
Tom
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Posted 18 November 2007 - 05:36 PM
What good are "unwritten rules" if you write them down?
The beauty of unwritten rules is that they are passed down verbally or through behavior. It is the power of having tenure, having experience -- to learn the rules through experience. The fact they are unwritten makes them more powerful than ones written down. They are not rules written down that you can "study." They are rules you must learn from "being there."
Thanks for destroying the power behind these "unwritten rules."
The beauty of unwritten rules is that they are passed down verbally or through behavior. It is the power of having tenure, having experience -- to learn the rules through experience. The fact they are unwritten makes them more powerful than ones written down. They are not rules written down that you can "study." They are rules you must learn from "being there."
Thanks for destroying the power behind these "unwritten rules."
#11
theglove
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Posted 19 November 2007 - 12:50 PM
Bob --- Sure you can use anything you want. My dream is to one day be quoted on the bathroom wall of the Fox Meadow Club - maybe you could take a Sharpie the next time you're there.
Tom --- Does informal internet chat really count as "writing"? --- One more rule: Don't over-analyze posts on paddlepro.
Tom --- Does informal internet chat really count as "writing"? --- One more rule: Don't over-analyze posts on paddlepro.
#12
Mooter
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Posted 19 November 2007 - 01:47 PM
Congratulations to The Glove on your win over the weekend. You and the Old Lefty from Rochester are now Cleveland Masters Champions.
#13 Guest *The "real" Ames Gardne *
Guest *The "real" Ames Gardne *
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Posted 19 November 2007 - 02:57 PM
QUOTE(Ames Gardner @ Nov 15 2007, 06:41 PM) 
Jonesey,
I agree with your logic concerning league participation. I've come down from Springfield the last few years to play for the traveling team you have played on and had a great time doing so. As far as your suggestion goes concerning a new traveling team of women, I would be happy to captain it. I think the local Springfield Hooters could spring a few bucks to suit up our team and I'm sure the Hustler Hollywood I frequented after matches on Rt. 63 off 75 would find something for me to don. What are the dues requirements again for traveling teams in your league in Cincinnati ?
I agree with your logic concerning league participation. I've come down from Springfield the last few years to play for the traveling team you have played on and had a great time doing so. As far as your suggestion goes concerning a new traveling team of women, I would be happy to captain it. I think the local Springfield Hooters could spring a few bucks to suit up our team and I'm sure the Hustler Hollywood I frequented after matches on Rt. 63 off 75 would find something for me to don. What are the dues requirements again for traveling teams in your league in Cincinnati ?
While I agree with Old School's thread and most of Jones', I must admit I didnt post about bring a new team to the league. However, I have been inspired by the other Ames Gardner! He or she or Foster must really have an understanding of what platform REALLY needs!!
#14 Guest *"better than Old School&quo *
Guest *"better than Old School&quo *
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Posted 04 December 2007 - 11:04 PM
QUOTE(Hank B @ Nov 17 2007, 09:53 AM)
Just for the record, does this mean Thaddeus is banging my wife???
#15 Guest *Coward - Remember the Rules *
Guest *Coward - Remember the Rules *
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Posted 13 April 2008 - 11:53 PM
Remember the Rules...
Old School
Old School
