10 replies to this topic

[The Hobbit]

The Hobbit has come out of hiding for the Holidays. Screw being politcally correct, Merry F'in Christmas!

The Hobbit would like to begin by saying thank you to all of his supporters. Let me begin by commenting on some of leagues/tournaments. It seems there is better particiaption in the leagues by the top players, than there is for the 962 men's ranking tournaments each year.

Around the Horn:

Chicago's league is still the best in the nation with players like Chris GAMBINO-burrito, Scott woMANSAGER, Bill FIEDLER-on-the-roof, Charlie USHER-in-the-new-year, James silver-and-GOLDMAN, Mike aqua-MARINO, Scott barry-BONDERANT, Peter delta-BERKA, Ed home-on-the-GRANGER, John HOUGH-and-puff-and-blow-your-house-down, Brian and Duke tow-the-UIHLEIN, Ryan jay-JOHNSTONE, etc.

Upsets worth noting: UIHLEIN/HOUGH getting smoked by KEEVINS/JOHNSTONE 6-1, 6-3 a couple of weeks ago. GAMBINO/Jay great-WOLDENBERG-of-china beat MANSAGER/FEIDLER last year.

The Hobbit congratulates Hinsdale on winning the first half of the league.

Westchester's League stinks and not many good players worth mentioning, but we will anyway: David say-it-aint-sOHLMULLER, Dan ROTHSCHILD-ren-of-the-corn, Mike bar-STULAC, Rusty if-your-not-WRIGHT-your-wrong, Mark RUPPERT-plus-shampoo, Jim turn-your-head-and-KAUFMAN, Mike and Chris COCHRANE (too easy - fill in yourself), Russ hair-JELLINEK, Greg blue-cross-blue-SCHILD.

The Hobbit congratulates NYAC on winning the first half of their league.

The Hobbit will comment later on the excellent league in New Jersey and weak league in Strong Island.

The Tournaments:

January 8th-9th - There seem to be three tournaments on this weekend. What the hell is the American Plaform Tennis Association thinking? "Let's schedule as many tournaments as possible so they all suck!" Congrats, you've succeeded.
Detroit - murder capital of the world - let's schedule a tournament there! great idea.
Kansas City - they will get an 8 team draw, do they have enough courts to handle this size draw?
Boston - great party town, great baseball and football(NE) team, should be best of three tournaments.

January 15th-16th - Cincinnati Midwesterns - This tournament should be as strong, if not stronger than the Nationals. The Hobbit will be posting predictions in a future e-mail.

January 21st-23rd - Sound Shore Invitational (aka. Rye Invitational) - It is rumored that this year's tournament might be the swan song, and if this is true, then it might be a strong tournament. It is also rumored that they are flying in Tony Bennett to sing at the Saturday night bar-b-que.

The Hobbit also heard that the APTA is promoting an event in Atlanta by saying that they have some TOP players. The Hobbit knows the names of some of the top ranked players, but Mark nemo-is-a-clown-FISHL, is not one of them. What does the APTA mean by top national player? top 100? If so, then Mr. Fishl barely makes it. When was the last tournament Mr. Fishl played? Bob CALLOWAY-golf is a coach for 60 national champions? The Hobbit did not know that paddle players had coaches, but congrats to him. The Hobbit would like to know the names of these players with coaches. Good luck at this event, it should be huge.

More to come.....

-The Hobbit

[The Hobbit Sux]

BOOOOORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Buck Naked]

This little rodent is getting too much press.  But if we are going to try & figure out who it is, a masshole it might be given the shout out to the wicked bosox, etc.  Any suspects from there?  Shappy?  Anderson?  What about that guy who used to stare at the screens after hitting lobs?  Bennett?

On the "Westchesta" front, probably not anyone from WCC, those folks are not that witty.  Borho is that witty, but doesn't even check email.  Cochrane?  His internet default pg is probably paddlepro.  Walsh is nowhere near a paddle ct anymore.  McEvoy?  

Don't count Fischl out.  Self-deprication is often a diversion.  Speaking of Strong Island, how about Davey-O?

[itsovain04]

why not a new yorkie using the reverse spin to keep us guessing??  dave o no way would he know a bosox from a knee sox? thinknot............why not a girl hobbit?????????  keep guessing it keeps the long ,cold winter a bit more lively.

[nomad]

The APTA should host a Hobbit Coming Out of the Closet fundraiser in Pittsburgh during the Nationals. It would be a big event. They could create photo ops, do a poster, a dunking booth, whatever; it could be a merhandising extravaganza. Maybe Viking should come out with a Hobbit paddle next year and feature the Hobbit in the advertising campaign. The Hobbit is the biggest thing to hit the game since Summa rode off in to the sunset. This event would be a lot biger than the APTA Golf fundraiser that attracted four people. What do you think Hobbit, are you ready to give it up for the good of the game?  

[The Hobbit]

Nomad, we thank you for your proposing the possible marketing opportunity, but the Hobbit does not let his picture to be taken. We feel that a photograph takes part of your soul. The Hobbit also doubts that Viking would opt to manufacture a piece of platform tennis equipment  on someone as below average caliber as we are. The Hobbit feels that many of the players would love the Hobbit's face on a ball so they can beat us up. The Hobbit is sorry.

As for the Hobbit coming out of our hole (no closets involved), the Hobbit is intrigued by the possibility of such, especially being so close to home as the Nationals are this March 2005.

Please do not fault the APTA for trying to raise funds. They did our best and it just did not attract enough people. Hopefully the APTA will try again to raise funds in other areas.

The Hobbit will soon reveal......but so far........nobody is close. Think........BIGGER.

[Buck Naked]

Word from the Australian Open is that Guillermo Coria is sick of this hard court/grass court crap & that he's seeking new challenge.  I wonder how effective staring up at the sky, leaning back & hitting as much topspin from the brown will be?  Gotta like his endurance though...especially in a marathon event like the MCI.

Jaden Agassi is another to watch out for.  Word is he doesn't care for the glitter of Vegas & that he is more of a cold-weather kid.  Granted he's only 3, but we're dealing with good genes here.

[MikeyC]

WOW!

A post by the great one JayBo!!

We didn't know you knew how to use a computer.

Good seeing you in Boston. Weather Sux. Pats are going to be Super Bowl XXXIX Champions.

-MikeyC